On letting go…
I sent you off to school today… It was not an ordinary day. It was the day thousands of American parent’s debated the “safety” of that move. Your dad and I have spoken to you about the Shootings. You seem blissfully unconcerned. Your mind is still so innocent. I’m certain it sounds like some strange story or television show to you.
The adults in your life however are not so innocent. We wrestle, and we grapple for answers. And in our wrestling there are so many things to be blamed… We blame the lack of gun control, we blame the lack of guns… We simply blame. Because part of grieving for us adults seems to be finding someone to blame.
And among Christian circles we blame the lack of God in schools. I have been told that the lack of school led prayer and the lack of posted Ten Commandments has led to this moral decay. I have a different take on that issue. I believe the lack of Christian light in the schools has led us here.
Your dad and I thought long and hard about what your “schooling” would look like. And while there may be times we choose to pull one of you out of the public school system to meet your own personal needs, we realized we wanted to raise kid’s who brought light into the darkness. So much time has been spent by Christians “fighting the darkness” around them that we’ve almost viewed the world we were sent to save as the enemy. We declare the moral decay of our world to be the fault of the government, the atheists, etc. I suspect it is the fault of the Christians themselves.
Josiah, one of the lessons I want you to learn is this… The world is not your enemy. The world is the one you were sent to love. Judgment of the world around you and Accusatory Social Media posts will get you no where. If your immediate world seems to only be getting darker, close your eyes tightly, get on your knees and inspect your own heart. Because if the world around us isn’t ignited with His light, perhaps it’s us who have the problem.
So, we are doing our best to teach you His Word and His heart for the world around you. I am praying that you know God well and represent Him. Because I maintain the fact that each time you and every Christian walks in that school, God is indeed, very present.
I wish that this meant I could promise you your world would be safe. That you will never be abused or lose some of that innocence and naivety I would so dearly love you to keep, but that is not possible. Because as much as God gave you as a gift to me, I am continuously aware that he sent you to a lost world as well. And my entire role as your mother is to raise you to spread the flavor of Christ throughout the world around you.
There are days I wrestle with this decision. Days I want to keep you at home, so you can avoid one more hurt and I can avoid the wondering of how well the lessons you have learned at home will be remembered at school… And on those days I remember this… That God himself sent His only Son into a world that was dark, and lost, and Godless. Because He loved that world and found it was worth the rescuing. And if God himself could remove his Son from perfection to reach that world, that must have some impact on how I raise my own son.
I am praying, and teaching and fighting so that you would indeed be “the salt of the earth”. And then I release you. Because the world doesn’t need new laws. It needs more salt.
Matthew 5:13 “You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled by men.